a day in the life of...

a gardner...chronicles of the random adventures, boredom,chaos and drama that happens in London, Ontario

My Photo
Location: London, Ontario, Canada

a disillusioned londoner, who is now in new zealand, hoping to corrupt young minds once ive finished with teacher's college

Monday, October 17, 2005

lessons learned: don't make eye contact and don't speak....toronto v london....guelph v london

so this weekend i headed to toronto....
in theory i was very excited by the prospect, i could leave behind the boringness that is london, the mundane sights, the boring nightlife, and see something more exciting, that something being toronto.
at first glance, i would say hands down, toronto beats london...it has better nightlife, its a real city, with actual things to do, like the theatre, museums, shopping...did i mention shopping? oh a transit system that is actually semi reliable....while london....well we all know what london has to offer (masonville mall....yorkdale? no contest there) however i discovered there are things about toronto that i don't like....at all
perhaps i should have waited to post something so im not as bitter but i feel like this is as good as time as any....

round one: toronto v london

traffic: toronto being a larger city, one would expect more traffic flow, im not going to hold that against the city, london sucks for this as well (ever tried to get up oxford at 430, good luck), however at least people are semi considerate in london, they dont give you the finger because they werent paying attention to the road and almost slammed into the back of you because you braked well in advance...toronto 0, london 1
homeless: yes there are a lot of homeless people in toronto, and im not going to rant about our social services or anything like that, but instead the degrees of craziness....homeless in london, there's the guy that sings by jim bobs, or the occassional guy asking for money by mollys ...now this is where i made my first mistake, i respond, because i feel bad, but im not going to give you money, i'll just give you a polite no....i tried this in toronto....didn't work so well, lets just say i may now have some disease on the back of my neck from the guy on the corner of college and yonge...he's kind of crazy with blood dripping down his forehead ranting about something...he asked for a dime, i said no sorry, and moved away, why because i don't actually carry cash at all...he comes up behind me and pretends to spit on the back of my neck....almost thought he did..so far the trip to toronto not going so well
at this point we head for the bathroom so i can disinfect my neck, and then we're off shopping....it was like christmas time shopping...it was slightly ridiculous, and made me not want to shop...yah thats right toronto, you made me not want to shop...
toronto 0, london 2

so in the contest for which is better, toronto scores 1 (for the nightlife, cant beat that) and london 2...thats right london was actually better this weekend....i wished for home at those moments
oh and just a sidenote....it is not necessary to have a starbucks on every single corner and on both sides of the street....come on

round one winner: london

round two guelph v london

so we headed to guelph for a roadtrip/house party...never been to guelph before...however didn't know that they produced sleeman's there

beer: guelph 1, london 0 (i'm sorry, sleeman's v labbatt...come on)

university campus: this was close, i'd have to give this one to western, yes im bias, and social sci really ugs the campus up...but the penis spray painted on the wall kind of made guelph lose some points
guelph 1, london 1

random statues: slippery the seal at springbank park vs the garbasouris.. (a dinasour made out of garbage collected from the river), gotta give this one to guelph
guelph 2, london 1

night life/after bar food: the line ups at guelph are laughable, and the bar scene is very laid back, which i enjoyed...but still i waited in line in guelph,( granted for 5 minutes, but thats besides the point)...it was cool....and i enjoyed going out at like 12 not 9....but i did miss not seeing a sammy's....mmmm sammy's after the bar
guelph 2, london 2

now to decide it will have to be western guys v guelph guys
i found this so strange, in london western guys main focus is to get into your pants, get you drunk and sleep with you....this may be the case in guelph, but i didn't see it ....there was no making out at the bar, people actually had conversations...this was nice, but strange at the same time...very erie....maybe im just jaded but im going to have to call this a draw

so to recap
london over toronto when it comes to traffic and bums
guelph and london tied, better beer, but not better bars


Blogger Phronk said...

A fair comparison. But you forgot that Guelph's campus has a barn, which gives it a slight edge. I'd still choose Western though, because it's got that pretty UC Hill that's in every single picture you'd ever see of Western.

P.S. While I haven't experienced Guelph's bar scene, there are places in London with real conversation and minimal sluttiness. Yay London.

P.S.S. No matter where you go, guys only want to get in your pants. Some are just better at hiding it. I'm a guy, and I'm jaded about my own gender. That's how much we suck.

3:57 PM  
Blogger gardner said...

didnt see the barn, but i don't know if that would have earned guelph extra points :) and where in london does this happen?

4:10 AM  
Blogger Phronk said...

The smaller, more pub-like bars can be quite pleasant. I like the Last Drop, Waltzing Weasel...places like that. They are a big improvement over hell holes like Jim Bobs and Club Phoenix, in my humble opinion.

4:21 PM  
Blogger gardner said...

i suppose so, but like you said guys will still try to sleep with you there, they just have to make a little bit more effort there

4:43 PM  
Blogger Drew-Not-Toothpaste said...

Labatt doesn't hold a candle to Sleeman. I'd say your analysis is fair.

That said, your take on Guelph guys amuses me. I think you downgraded them for not trying to get into your pants!

7:21 PM  
Blogger gardner said...

lol i didn't necessarily downgrade them, it was the erie factor that called it a draw, my friend and i found it strange...because it always happens in london, but not in guelph....that said, guelph guys lost a point because they cannot dance, if they could they would have come out on top :) hmmmm maybe thats why they don't try to sleep with girls right away...because you know what they say....

3:45 AM  
Blogger Drew-Not-Toothpaste said...

It's not true. I'm a terrible dancer.

1:26 PM  
Blogger gardner said...

:) well from my experience, those who don't have rhythm on the dance floor, lack it else where....because that's key ....

1:46 PM  
Blogger Drew-Not-Toothpaste said...

Nah, it just means they're very gay.

5:33 PM  
Blogger Drew-Not-Toothpaste said...

My gosh, what has my blog done to me?

5:34 PM  
Blogger gardner said...

lol or just are bad in bed

12:21 AM  
Blogger Drew-Not-Toothpaste said...

Sorry for spelling your name wrong. I'd apologize on my blog but I thought it was funny that you got picked on for correcting me. Who wants to stop a good flow like that?

Sadly, I screwed up my own argument here and walked away like an embarassed law student. My point (which I did not relay) was that dancing skills tend to go back to effeminate qualities. These are not conducive to amazing experiences in the bedroom unless you want to sleep with another woman. Which I am not putting down. What you really want to avoid are people with big cars, coloured hair or an overabundance of polo shirts.

Thank you.

11:15 AM  
Blogger gardner said...

thats what i figured but i found it more amusing to leave your own implication of being gay....i don't know, seems kind of weak to apologize here :) but i suppose i'll accept it....so guys with big cars, coloured hair or lots of polo shirts...doesn't that pretty much implicate all of western's male population as being gay?

11:38 AM  
Blogger Drew-Not-Toothpaste said...

Not that many. Abercrombie doesn't make many polos, so most guys sport a lot of hoodies if they want to stay true to the brand. I mean, to Western.

2:00 PM  
Blogger gardner said...


4:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home